Subject: Important Reminder: Proper Toilet Use
Date: May 16, 2135
Dear Vault Residents,
I hope this message finds you well. As your Vault Overseer, it’s my duty to remind everyone of the importance of proper waste disposal, particularly in our restroom facilities.
Recently, we have noticed an uptick in improper items being flushed down the toilets. Please remember that our plumbing systems are designed to handle human waste and toilet paper only. Items such as food, plastic, and personal belongings can cause significant damage to our sewage systems, which we cannot afford.
Let’s work together to keep our vault functioning smoothly!
Best regards,
Overseer J. Thompson
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Subject: Urgent: Toilets Are Not Trash Cans!
Date: May 21, 2135
Dear Vault Residents,
I’m following up on my previous message regarding the improper flushing of items. We’ve seen a continued rise in the number of foreign objects being disposed of in our toilets. This is not just a minor inconvenience—it poses a serious risk to our plumbing and overall living conditions.
If you are unsure what can be flushed, please refer to the guidelines posted in the communal areas. Let’s avoid further complications!
Thank you for your cooperation,
Overseer J. Thompson
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Subject: Enough is Enough! STOP Flushing Improper Items!
Date: May 25, 2135
Residents,
I must express my growing frustration regarding the ongoing toilet situation. The maintenance team has reported multiple blockages due to items such as metal containers, clothing, and even a rubber chicken being flushed. This is not a joke!
Our sewage system is not designed to handle such negligence. The repeated incidents are causing delays in our water purification processes and could lead to unsanitary conditions in the vault. Please, for the love of the Vault, STOP this madness!
I am counting on each of you to take responsibility.
Frustrated,
Overseer J. Thompson
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Subject: FINAL WARNING: Toilets Are NOT a Play Area!
Date: June 2, 2135
Dear Residents,
This is my final plea! I can no longer tolerate the ongoing catastrophe surrounding our toilets. Just yesterday, we found a CHILD’S TOY lodged in the plumbing! How is this happening? Are we living in a vault or a playground?
If this continues, we will have to implement strict measures, including potential restrictions on restroom access. This isn’t just about comfort anymore; it’s about our health and survival!
I am begging you to consider the consequences of your actions. Flush responsibly!
Desperate,
Overseer J. Thompson
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Subject: URGENT: Last Call Before Action!
Date: June 7, 2135
Vault Residents,
I am at my wit’s end. Despite numerous emails, we have yet another blockage due to someone flushing what appears to be a VAULT-TEC BATHROBE. A BATHROBE! I can’t even begin to comprehend how this is still happening!
I am prepared to take drastic measures if this behavior does not stop immediately. I will be organizing mandatory meetings to address this issue and explore potential consequences. If you think I’m being unreasonable, just wait until the toilets overflow!
Please, for the sake of our community, let’s resolve this once and for all.
Panicking,
Overseer J. Thompson
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Subject: I Can’t Believe I Have to Say This…
Date: June 12, 2135
Dear Residents,
It’s come to this: I’m writing this email in tears. I never imagined I’d have to beg adults to stop flushing random items down the toilets. Just this morning, we discovered a garden gnome lodged in the plumbing!
I don’t know how to make this any clearer: THE TOILET IS NOT A GARBAGE DISPOSAL. We have a community to maintain, and I need everyone’s cooperation. Please think before you act!
I’m counting on you,
Overseer J. Thompson
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Subject: The Toilet Crisis: A Call for Unity
Date: June 17, 2135
Dear Vault Residents,
This is it. We are on the brink of disaster. The plumbing situation is dire, and we’ve lost access to half of our restrooms. I never thought I’d see the day where I had to organize a “Toilet Etiquette” workshop, but here we are.
I plead with you: let’s come together and fix this. Bring your ideas, your concerns, and your common sense to the meeting next week. If you care about our home, please show it.
In utter disbelief,
Overseer J. Thompson