To: Matriarch of the Mercenary Guild
From: Corporal Reaper
Date: October 29, 2294
Subject: Concerns Regarding Serjeant Jaeger
Honored Matriarch,
I’m writing to express concerns regarding Serjeant Jaeger, who has been leading our squad with commendable skill and tenacity. His tactics and combat abilities are undeniably impressive, and we’re grateful for his leadership in the field. However, there’s a rather peculiar issue that has begun to wear on the unit.
Serjeant Jaeger, has developed an almost obsessive affinity for discussing his personal hygiene routine, specifically his penchant for applying talcum powder to his armor-chafed bottom. While I understand the importance of comfort in our line of work— and I must admit, it was amusing at first— his incessant chatter on the subject has become unbearable.
Every briefing, every downtime, it’s as if we can’t escape his enthusiastic monologues about the benefits of talcum powder and his grateful ass. The chuckles have faded, and now the team is growing increasingly frustrated. I’ve noticed that morale is slipping as his fixation becomes the unwelcome focal point of our conversations. He just won’t shut up about powdering his Swamp-ass.
I believe it would benefit both Serjeant Jaeger, and the unit if he could redirect that enthusiasm toward the tasks at hand. We all want to focus on our missions without the added distraction.
Thank you for considering this matter. I trust your judgment in handling the situation, and we appreciate all that you do for the Guild.
This is the Way,
Corporal Reaper
Mercenary Guild